Sunday, March 1, 2015

29 Reality-Based Post-Spock Freemotion Quilting Designs that Will Never Catch On

I decided to improve my freemotion quilting skills, so for the past week, I've been cramming the designs on Leah Day's website. I absolutely love and recommend everything about Leah's approach and products (no financial affiliation).

My only qualm is that she looks approximately 12 years old. And she emanates the fresh, perky,  youthful hope that even drawing-impaired oldsters like me can learn to generate her graceful designs. The other thing you need to know is that there's a lot of backtracking (going back over the same lines), with no stopping and starting, so that the thread doesn't have to be cut and restarted. It's a challenge and a skill that takes practice, practice, and more practice (plus a good sewing machine.)

So I've been practicing diligently, with a pencil on paper, as well as a sewing machine on quilt sandwiches. Here is one of my latest stitched samples, a strip about three feet long, right side first:
 Left side:
Friday evening, I poured myself a glass of wine, turned on The Sound of Music, grabbed a bunch of scrap paper and a pencil, and started inventing continuous freemotion designs relevant to my non-perky life. First, I divided blank paper into grids, and then doodled each into a different segment.


 These new designs (my obsession lasted all day yesterday, too), are sure to catch on nowhere:

Carpal Tunnel:

 Need Coffee:

Need Wine: 


Crow's Feet:

The Tension on my Bobbin Case has a Life of its Own: 
\
 Need a Bernina Stitch Regulator:
Don't Talk to Me, I'm Concentrating:

Bane of Middle Aged Women (and some men):

 Found This Fabric at a Garage Sale, Should have Washed it First
Needs Pressing: 
Hot Flash:
 Nasolabial Folds:
I Collect Neckties, Someday I'm Going to Make a Quilt from Them:
Same for Tee Shirts: 

Stop Sewing, Take a Walk. 
 
(OK, a few of these don't have continuous lines. They need a little tweaking.) 

Need chocolate:
 Go for a Bike Ride, and/or Pizza:


Heat the Pizza in the Microwave, Fabric is Stashed in the Oven: 
Did Anyone Bring Donuts?
Go to the Gym:
Back to Weight Watchers I:

 Back to Weight Watchers, 2:

 Haven't Sewn in So Long that There are Spider Webs Between my Pedal and the Floor:
Spouse Encourages Quilting:
Three Shades of Grey are Plenty: 


This is Your Brain on Freemotion Quilting:

Tribute to Mr. Spock.

(Those are pointy ears with inexplicably long earlobes.).
RIP Leonard Nimoy. We are very, very sad in my house.
Star Trek Insignia:
The Vulcan/Jewish hand thing is the hardest. Here's my attempt:
What freemotion quilting designs have you invented? Feel free to link to them in the comments, or email me at cathy-dot-perlmutter-at-gmail-dot-com and I'll post your jpg in an update. .

 And if you wouldn't even know how to begin, get over to Leah Day's site, and start practicing. You'll thank me!

UPDATE 3/8: I just posted a sequel! Here's 14 more.

54 comments:

  1. Thanks for such a big laugh! Only you could make FMQ hilarious. You are a genius and a savant...and I am so lucky to know You!

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    1. Jeri, YOU are a flipping genius, and I am lucky to know YOU! Let's just get that straight!!!!

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  2. These are fabulous!!

    Shellie

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    1. Glad you enjoyed them, Shellie, and thanks for the comment!

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  3. These are so much fun! Mary Ann

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  4. Cathy ... your mind scares me!! 😉 ... but, I am still in awe of you.

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    1. Thank you, ams. My drawings scare me. No need for awe!

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  5. Cathy ... it would be fascinating to crawl around in your mind ... a little scary, maybe, but still fascinating. ��

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  6. Cathy ... it would be fascinating to crawl around inside your brain ... a little scary, maybe ... but still fascinating !!
    😀

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  7. Glad you enjoyed them, Mary Ann! I had fun with them!

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  8. Your amusing and informative and witty style quilting had me laughing and going for another cuppa coffee as it is still Am here! live long and prosper!

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    1. Thanks, Sonja, glad you had fun with it! You should live long and prosper, too!!!!

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    2. OMG Cathy. You are so hilarious. Not only that but talented too. I agree that crawling around in your brain would probably get us hazardous duty pay. I am totally bummed about Leonard Nimoy He was one of my first crushes. I always loved Star Trek. Thanks for making me smile today.

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    3. Oh Maggie, I'm so sorry for our loss - I loved Nimoy/Spock deeply, too, long before I knew how good his Yiddish was. He was the climax of the new Star Trek movies. RIP.

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  9. I think everyone else has said it, but you certainly had me grinning from ear to ear. I've been practicing with Leah, too, but nothing as innovative as yours.

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    1. Practicing with Leah is so great. It really trained my brain to find different ways to connect things....Thanks for the comment, Norma.

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  10. Love it, what a great sense of humor you have.

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    1. Thank you, Kathleen, I keep myself well entertained!

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  11. LOL! I love love love your designs! I think This is Your Brain on FMQ is my favorite, second to Spock's ears and 3 Shades of Grey is Plenty. I was looking for the Red Room of Pain, but you haven't designed it yet!!!

    I'll have to work on being more realistic (a.k.a honest - FMQ is a bitch) and less perky. I love knowing I look 12 though...completely impossible when I have an 8 year old, but I will ride this train as long as I can!

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    1. Leah, you just made my day/year/life. If you have an eight year old, you were four when he was born, which must have been quite challenging!!! There's nothing dishonest about your site, it's just highly optimistic with regards to those of us who are drawing-, grace-, and flow-impaired (it doesn't come naturally to us.) But thanks to your site, videos, and your WONDERFUL compilations, thousands of us are getting better at our FMQ skills, whatever weird things we may do with them! So thank you! (Anyone reading this, and hoping to improve at FMQ, please go to Leah's site immediately!)

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  12. You are AWESOME! Thanks for the chuckle!

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  13. Hysterical! Those of us who are of a certain age can identify with most of these. I think 3 shades of grey is my favorite.

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    1. Thanks, Barbara. We wouldn't want too many shades!

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  14. You have inspire me to try again at FMQ some of your are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh and encouragement to try again

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  15. These are great- I think you've covered all the bases (basics?) except one: Aargh, I still have cat hair all over my fabric! (With variation for dog hair of course). I use a lot of lint rollers getting quilts ready for a show, but the loose fur doesn't wait for a finished quilt.
    Quilt Long and Prosper!

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    1. Quilt Long and prosper! Can I borrow that line, wlstarn?!?!? Thanks! Love it!

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  16. Fran, if I've convinced you to try again, my work here is done! Leah Day's videos are wonderful and you can play them again and again til you get it!

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  17. Delightful - the designs and the whole post! Especially love the 'need wine' and 'need chocolate'!

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    1. The latter, chocolate, is my worst addiction, Linda. Thanks for the comment!

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  18. Very funny. I love your humor. You made my day!

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  19. Best belly laugh EVER!!!! May I steal some of those designs for my quilting????

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    1. Steal away, but send me a picture, Kate!!!!

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  20. Wonderful, we are still laughing as I write. Just to let you know, we have hot flushes in the UK! No, nothing to do with the WC!

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    1. Hot FLUSHES? Who knew!
      Once we vacationed in an old rental house, in which the toilets filled with water so hot it emitted steam. It was quite the odd sensation, and those were definitely hot flushes, American style! Thanks for the comment, Mo!!!

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  21. This has really got my day off to a good start. Thanks for making me laugh so much.
    Dee

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    1. Glad to be of service, Dee! Thanks for the comment!

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  22. Hysterical!! I really appreciate the nasolabial fold link too -- I was thinking in a whole different direction for a second there...
    Thank you the laugh -- you certainly brightened my day! :)

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    1. OMG Gisela, what did you think the nasolabial fold was?!?

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  23. Wonderfully funny! Thanks for sharing. :)

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  24. Laughing out loud. I loved this!

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    1. I'm so glad, Sandra, thanks for the comment!

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  25. V. funny. Now I have to follow your blog.

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  26. These are great, made me smile :0)

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  27. Gillie, thanks for the comment, glad you enjoyed them!

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  28. Your freemotion posts are so fun! What a creative mind you have!

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